“Unhealed resentments in a relationship can be a death knoll for a breakup,” Christine Scott-Hudson, licensed psychotherapist and owner of Create Your Life Studio, tells Bustle. Resentment can show in many different forms. Your partner may keep bringing up the past, they may be passive aggressive, sarcastic, or snarky about certain topics. When there’s resentment in the relationship, it usually means there’s not enough open and honest communication. If you’re going to make your marriage last, communication is essential.
5White Lies About Money
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
As a divorce lawyer, Russell D. Knight tells Bustle that divorces are caused by financial issues more than anything else. “Many couples keep their finances separate,” he says. “Not surprisingly, this does not bring couples closer together.” If one person is a spender and the other is a saver, you’re going to have fights. When one person hides their finances and the other finds out, it’s going to lead to trust issues. If your marriage is going to work, being on the same page financially from day one will help you avoid seeking out a divorce attorney.
6Stonewalling
Ashley Batz/Bustle
Stonewalling is another one of Gottman’s “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.” According to licensed professional counselor Dr. LaWanda N. Evans, stonewalling happens when a person withdraws or shuts down during a conversation or argument. “They emotionally or mentally close themselves off from their partner due to being physiologically flooded or agitated to the point where they can’t discuss an issue respectfully,” Evans says. You can’t solve problems when one person isn’t making an effort to do so.
7Change
Andrew Zaeh for Bustle
